I awake early in the morning, awaiting a week filled with adventure. An adventure filled with spontaneous experiences. 

Being in the moment is something I am enjoying as I learn to go within. 

Being in the moment has a beat that only one could classify as ROMANCE. 

A romance that only you and I understand but somehow the pressure to settle was presented to me on our week of adventure. 

Many, see the way you look at me, 

Many, see the way you hold me, 

But, non have seen the time we’ve put in, in our communication, chemistry and trust. 

Many, will identify chemistry as sex, but as I have come to learn and understand chemistry, many will not understand the why to your look toward me. 

It’s in our communication and respect for one another! 

It’s not to say I am afraid to love, you have taught me that, I Am Love! 

It’s not to say I am afraid to commit, you’ve created a safe place for me to BE.  

It’s not to say I am afraid to make a decision, damn do I admire the respect we have for one another even in an argument. 

It’s not to say, I am afraid of the title to be a girlfriend, I am rather afraid to lose what I’ve come to learn and love about ME. 

You and I have spoken and as both of us have chosen to continue DATING as we await God’s confirmation. 

May I ask not to be pressured by the folk(s) that do not have a seat at our table as we both put in the work to BECOME…. 

His WILL is what’s important to us! 

Ohh no, this is not another sistuationship. This is two people with big hearts, who are aware of themselves and desire to Obey God even in relationship.

I appreciate the outside lenses, however “You have cheated on your husband” is bigger than sex and soul ties, roses and date nights, adventure and communication. “You have cheated on your husband” has generations attached and I am very aware my YES will impact the coming generations. I am very aware of my assignment on Earth. 

Allow me to continue knowing the man, without the titles of wife and mother presented to me. 

Many of us are brought up in environments where we are taught to be wives and mothers without celebrating ourselves as individuals. 

Many of us are prepared through observation or chores to be wives and mothers before being taught to know we are enough without a man. 

Many of us are taught to cook, clean and maybe how to iron without being taught how to respect and protect ourselves. 

Many of us are taught how to compromise, sacrifice and serve without being taught on the importance of values and boundaries, let alone how not to compromise your beliefs and lower your standards. May I add many of us do not know the difference between compromise, serve, sacrifice and slavery. 

Many of us are taught the importance of family without being taught the importance of individuality and the process and power to make a decision. #home 

Many of us desire a blueprint we admire from afar, but when given a seat to the ones who established the blueprint you only learn brokenness is what created the blueprint, stagnation is what’s sustaining the blueprint. 

I am Travonna Louzel, first before anything else. A individual with dreams. A individual with a vision, definitions and tags may be placed on me, but if my observation serves to be accurate, the definitions and labels being placed on me are based on ones insecurities regarding oneself. The definitions and tags placed on me are based on ones desire and hunger. 

A desire and hunger that can only be birthed from within. The communication and chemistry between two people is a result of work that looks like time, discernment and obedience first beginning with self. In previous years I would say my focus was to please the flesh and people however as I go within, my desire is to love and respect myself from within. Learning to train your instincts is like learning to be consistent in the gym. The donuts that look like people’s definitions will be presented to you, three bottles of wine will be gifted to you in a form of people’s opinions. But it’s up to you to decide who you will serve People or God.

So many of the definitions and tags we settle for have been established by people who have come together and agreed on a meaning based on experience and exposure. 

It’s true God uses people to talk to us, but what if those people are speaking out of pain, experience and desire rather than discernment … 

What if your experiences do not present the woman I am becoming, should I still abide to your definitions and labels? 

What if your level of exposure is apart of my past and now as I am BECOMING, a new level of exposure is being presented to me that is challenging my perspective and beliefs about SELF? 

For sometime I was afraid to date, as my level of exposure bracketed dating “as boyfriend and girlfriend with the result of marriage” that was my exposure which influenced my perspective. 

                                     BUT, 

What is dating? 

What if,  you are set and firm that at this stage and season of your life you do not desire to have sex before marriage, does that mean I do not kiss someone? 

What if, in this season and stage in your life you do not desire to get married, does that mean I do not get to know someone? 

What if, you communicate with the person in truth and transparency with where you are both mind and heart, does that mean I am wasting his time? 

What if, you enjoy his company, he has what you would call good traits, you both agree to date, you both define what dating is to you as individuals and you both establish boundaries, am I still leading him on? 

                                  QUESTIONS? 

Does this mean I am not Christian enough? Matter of fact what is Christian? 

Does this mean I am compromising my Faith? What is Faith? 

                                   OPINION!

So many of us admire people’s definitions and blueprints without knowing who, what and how the definition(s) and blueprints were established. Yesterday I literally opened up to a friend about the pressure I experienced on the weekend, I am aware my perspective and desire(s) to life are DIFFERENT and quite often my own uniqueness scares me and I constantly need to make a decision to commit to my process to purpose and quite often my process to purpose requires me to stand in my truth with transparency whilst allowing The Holy Spirit to teach me and correct me. 

Now I know why VALUES are IMPORTANT… 

What’s important to you when it comes to dating? 

Matter of fact, let’s create a dialogue, I would prefer if I don’t get private messages on Instagram and my mobile. Please comment below, these no right or wrong response. Let’s help one another EVOLVE by CHALLENGING one another’s PERSPECTIVES. 

#datinginmyyouth #datingmyself #processtopurpose #TravonnaLouzel