I awake early in the morning, awaiting a week filled with adventure. An adventure filled with spontaneous experiences.
Being in the moment is something I am enjoying as I learn to go within.
Being in the moment has a beat that only one could classify as ROMANCE.
A romance that only you and I understand but somehow the pressure to settle was presented to me on our week of adventure.
Many, see the way you look at me,
Many, see the way you hold me,
But, non have seen the time we’ve put in, in our communication, chemistry and trust.
Many, will identify chemistry as sex, but as I have come to learn and understand chemistry, many will not understand the why to your look toward me.
It’s in our communication and respect for one another!
It’s not to say I am afraid to love, you have taught me that, I Am Love!
It’s not to say I am afraid to commit, you’ve created a safe place for me to BE.
It’s not to say I am afraid to make a decision, damn do I admire the respect we have for one another even in an argument.
It’s not to say, I am afraid of the title to be a girlfriend, I am rather afraid to lose what I’ve come to learn and love about ME.
You and I have spoken and as both of us have chosen to continue DATING as we await God’s confirmation.
May I ask not to be pressured by the folk(s) that do not have a seat at our table as we both put in the work to BECOME….
His WILL is what’s important to us!
Ohh no, this is not another sistuationship. This is two people with big hearts, who are aware of themselves and desire to Obey God even in relationship.
I appreciate the outside lenses, however “You have cheated on your husband” is bigger than sex and soul ties, roses and date nights, adventure and communication. “You have cheated on your husband” has generations attached and I am very aware my YES will impact the coming generations. I am very aware of my assignment on Earth.
Allow me to continue knowing the man, without the titles of wife and mother presented to me.
Many of us are brought up in environments where we are taught to be wives and mothers without celebrating ourselves as individuals.
Many of us are prepared through observation or chores to be wives and mothers before being taught to know we are enough without a man.
Many of us are taught to cook, clean and maybe how to iron without being taught how to respect and protect ourselves.
Many of us are taught how to compromise, sacrifice and serve without being taught on the importance of values and boundaries, let alone how not to compromise your beliefs and lower your standards. May I add many of us do not know the difference between compromise, serve, sacrifice and slavery.
Many of us are taught the importance of family without being taught the importance of individuality and the process and power to make a decision. #home
Many of us desire a blueprint we admire from afar, but when given a seat to the ones who established the blueprint you only learn brokenness is what created the blueprint, stagnation is what’s sustaining the blueprint.
I am Travonna Louzel, first before anything else. A individual with dreams. A individual with a vision, definitions and tags may be placed on me, but if my observation serves to be accurate, the definitions and labels being placed on me are based on ones insecurities regarding oneself. The definitions and tags placed on me are based on ones desire and hunger.
A desire and hunger that can only be birthed from within. The communication and chemistry between two people is a result of work that looks like time, discernment and obedience first beginning with self. In previous years I would say my focus was to please the flesh and people however as I go within, my desire is to love and respect myself from within. Learning to train your instincts is like learning to be consistent in the gym. The donuts that look like people’s definitions will be presented to you, three bottles of wine will be gifted to you in a form of people’s opinions. But it’s up to you to decide who you will serve People or God.
So many of the definitions and tags we settle for have been established by people who have come together and agreed on a meaning based on experience and exposure.
It’s true God uses people to talk to us, but what if those people are speaking out of pain, experience and desire rather than discernment …
What if your experiences do not present the woman I am becoming, should I still abide to your definitions and labels?
What if your level of exposure is apart of my past and now as I am BECOMING, a new level of exposure is being presented to me that is challenging my perspective and beliefs about SELF?
For sometime I was afraid to date, as my level of exposure bracketed dating “as boyfriend and girlfriend with the result of marriage” that was my exposure which influenced my perspective.
BUT,
What is dating?
What if, you are set and firm that at this stage and season of your life you do not desire to have sex before marriage, does that mean I do not kiss someone?
What if, in this season and stage in your life you do not desire to get married, does that mean I do not get to know someone?
What if, you communicate with the person in truth and transparency with where you are both mind and heart, does that mean I am wasting his time?
What if, you enjoy his company, he has what you would call good traits, you both agree to date, you both define what dating is to you as individuals and you both establish boundaries, am I still leading him on?
QUESTIONS?
Does this mean I am not Christian enough? Matter of fact what is Christian?
Does this mean I am compromising my Faith? What is Faith?
OPINION!
So many of us admire people’s definitions and blueprints without knowing who, what and how the definition(s) and blueprints were established. Yesterday I literally opened up to a friend about the pressure I experienced on the weekend, I am aware my perspective and desire(s) to life are DIFFERENT and quite often my own uniqueness scares me and I constantly need to make a decision to commit to my process to purpose and quite often my process to purpose requires me to stand in my truth with transparency whilst allowing The Holy Spirit to teach me and correct me.
Now I know why VALUES are IMPORTANT…
What’s important to you when it comes to dating?
Matter of fact, let’s create a dialogue, I would prefer if I don’t get private messages on Instagram and my mobile. Please comment below, these no right or wrong response. Let’s help one another EVOLVE by CHALLENGING one another’s PERSPECTIVES.
#datinginmyyouth #datingmyself #processtopurpose #TravonnaLouzel
Dating is two people getting to know each other (for comparability of a long term relationship). It can be exclusive or one can be seeing more than one person.
At this stage the people involved aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend, which is what they would be should they commit to being exclusive to one another and be in a relationship
Thanks Nobel,
In your perspective you’ve said, “Dating is with the desire or potential of BECOMING boyfriend or girlfriend.” Becoming, is leading to something, it has a long term plan.
Along with this you mention, “It can be exclusive or one can be seeing more than one person.” COMPANY, has short term gratification.
From my perspective, you have given me two signals,
(1) You are saying ~ hey I like you and I would like to get to know you as a friend with the potential of BECOMING my girlfriend. At this stage we are spending time as friends and getting to learn and understand each other through adventure and food, ~ side bar~ you know I’ve got to put my food there 😂 ~ which one could classify as courtship. I believe what determines the becoming stage is both people communicating with transparency and discerning one’s motives.
On the other hand you are saying,
(2) ~ hey shortie, you fine! I enjoy your COMPANY but as I enjoy YOUR company I am also enjoying someone else’s company. Now the level of company is dependent on the individuals values and boundaries.
It is true that actions speak louder than words, however, I have come to believe when you begin to pay attention to people’s words you will be able to discern a friend, an assignment and a counterfeit. I believe people’s words are a reflection of their motives. Your motives resemble your heart posture.
You have placed a very important word in your comment, “commit”, a lifestyle practice that our generation is struggling to do. It leads me to wonder;
Are we failing to commit because, we are entering into relationships prematurely which leads to us getting hurt and after we get hurt we are moving on to the next, quickly before we confront the pain and heal?
Our wounds continue to hurt ourselves and others, whereas are scars become our ministry. Testimony!
I have purposely placed the word “fail”
Our generation is hungry to mimic 90’s music kind of love influenced with today’s night stands.
I believe the solution to this disfunction is self awareness. Not out of IGNORANCE but out of LOVE.
Which brings us to another disfunction, what is love?
Thank you for commenting Nobel!
😄
BTW~ I apologise for the late response,
Travonna Louzel
P.s, has anyone ever wondered what is a relationship? What qualifies something or an encounter to be a relationship?
*It’s good to get my thoughts and questions out of my mind, the word of God does say “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7 NIV). Well I’ve asked, and Lord I will wait for your appointed vessel to answer.
Stay blessed!
Where am I, when it comes to dating? I’m at the COMPANY stage. I personally can not afford to say yes to everyone and anyone. My YES has power. When I quote what The Holy Spirit said to me in the mist of fall in 2017, “you’ve cheated on your husband”, The Holy Spirit is not talking about my ex-husband. He (The Holy Spirit) is talking about the man who is ordained to walk beside me. The history of the women in my lineage has been to marry men who have the potential of becoming the husband they desire whilst ignoring the promise because the promise is still immature, partying and still at play girl mansion. By this I mean there settle for what the man comes with in hopes that their premature hearts and minds will mould the man to be the potential they see in them. The women in my lineage enter in relationships without knowing themselves, without a vision for themselves and without a strong foundation (beliefs) for themselves, as result the man with potential and life experiences becomes their world, by this I mean, the men influence their thinking and heart posture even in religion and thinking, it’s not to say, the men say “this is the way or get out.” No! These too are broken men, trying to make it and desiring to make something out of themselves along with that have a woman to call his own. Hence the reason why their world becomes their husbands and children creating brokenness. My YES to a relationship will result to me breaking or continuing the circle. Now has The Holy Spirit given me the green light to date? Yes, with conditions (1) no sex (2) mean what you say and stick to it (3) Seek first the kingdom of God and all things shall be added unto you, Matthew 6:33. A moment of transparency, I’ve been on a date(s), I like the guy, we’ve kissed and we’ve been close to falling, however I have told him I cannot work on becoming without receiving the YES I need from The Holy Spirit. God will confirm His Will in His Word when you least expect it with a verse that makes no sense to the area of confirmation. Now both this man and I have invested in time and communication only to name a few, have both of us said their are scared? Yes! Because truth, I will obey God and not my heart nor thoughts. I say this to say communicate with honesty, tell the person where you are and if they are WILLING to take the risk, well go on that journey together. Continue to discern, maybe just maybe God is both teaching us how to date and remain pure. Maybe just maybe God is teaching us to wait and seek Him or maybe just maybe God is testing us if we will listen to the spirit or the flesh. Btw, we both took a week apart to seek God as individuals, and as individuals the gift of self control is what we have in this season. And boundaries is what we are both focused on implementing now. 🤗 Travonna Louzel
I clearly have a lot to say 😂
“My YES, to a relationship will result to me breaking or continuing the circle/cycle.”
An agreement is spiritual!
Whether it results in obedience or disobedience, when you agree on Earth it becomes a contract or covenant in Heaven and Earth.
God is a gentleman, prior to your agreement on earth, He (God, the Holy Spirit) will communicate to you in a way that YOU understand.
Whether YOU listen to the spirit (God) or the flesh (your Will), that’s on you.
“For where two or more gather in my name there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20 (NIV)
If I were to say to God, in my quiet time with Him, “okay Lord, I’ve not received a Yes or No from you, but this guy goes to Church, he desires to know your Will and serve you. He is a gentleman toward me, God I would consider this guy to be my husband.”
If I were to go to God with this conversation above and not WAIT and DISCERN His (Will) for my life, I will miss the details and instructions to my assignment on Earth.
And someone is going to say “but God’s word says God gives us the desires of our hearts) very true, but are you reading Psalm 37:4 out of context?
Psalm 37:4 (NIV) “Take delight in the LORD, and HE will give you the desires of your heart.”
Let’s look at only one word “DELIGHT”
Dictionary.com, says ~ delight “a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment, joy, rapture.”
How do you find or get pleasure?
Through TIME!
When you invest time into the word of God and come as a student (heart and mind), your Desires, your Will, begin to align with God’s desires for your life.
But because God is a gentleman, He has given us the freewill (mind and emotions) to make a decision(s) and if I decide to move into something without knowing the details and God’s instructions, I believe God is a loving Father, who will continue to pursue us or though we step out of our assignment and His Will, this is where I believe Matthew 18:20, comes into affect.
But in saying this, why step out of God’s Will only for the coming generations to carry a load that you were called to confront.
It comes down to Motives, Purpose and Vision yet again 😁
Travonna Louzel