I desire to talk and connect with people. Those I have spoken to and allowed into my world, have often said “how come you seem free to talk to me?” I am free to talk to you, because you have created a safe place for me to BE. I have sat at Kings Park, Ran at Jacobs Ladder, sat in lounges. I have sat in Uber cars. At our hellos our conversations have eventually turned into 3hour conversations, business idea sharing, faith debates conducted with respect and a whole lot of relationship dialogue.
A safe place is something I’ve always desired, so many people have the experience, qualifications and connections but don’t have the heart posture to serve. Personally I’ve struggled with therapy whether it be in a Church or “Professional” setting (lack of a better word).
In all of my experiences it appeared one way or another I was either
(1) being put in a box
(2) told I was possessed and advised to repent and respect.
(3) I was referred to as to emotional and compared to others.
(4) my cries were either rejected or misunderstood.
I hope you can understand the root of my struggle to express myself and communicate. So in 2018 during a workout The Holy Spirit whispered “I’ve called you to be a communicator.” First I laughed and bit my tongue as I was working out, did not verbally respond and The Holy Spirit said “I’m serious”. And my response was “at 40, I’m sure I’ll be able to speak and write for you, now I do not know how to do it.
I do not qualify, I do not have the experience and I do not have the connections”. “Travonna, you have the heart to serve, read your journals.” I’ll see you at my next post, I may dive a little deeper, I just don’t know but this is my process to my promised land. See you soon!